


Like a Band-Aid

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, M/M, also swearing and bets, people thinking other people are straight when theyre hella gaaaaay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is slowly patched back together after the events of CA:TWS.<br/>And if Tony doesn't stop making gay jokes about Steve, he might as well just buy a blinking neon sign that says "STEVE ROGERS IS THE QUEEREST QUEER TO EVER QUEER". But even confirmation of Steve's not-so-straight sexuality can't make Bucky think he'd ever be interested. But he can't keep living in the closet. Not anymore. Better to take the plunge, right? Like ripping off a Band-Aid...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Band-Aid

It isn't simple, but it's good.

SHIELD Psych was reluctant to let Bucky out of their sight, but Clint got Phil on their side and - with a lot of wheedling and the promise of some high tech safety additions to Steve's wing of the tower (a lá Tony) - they eventually let him go. Even Fury agreed that Steve would probably have a better effect on Bucky's mental health than the horde of overly-curious clinicians he employed.

It was slow going, particularly in the beginning. Thanks to Bucky’s return to the familiar landscape of New York City and a distinct lack of brainwashing, his memories had returned like an avalanche – one loose boulder and the wall between his conscious mind and his memories came tumbling down. The warring instincts from the Winter Soldier’s training and experiences combined with Bucky’s intrinsic personality… Well. He was distrustful and touch starved; a lethal combination.

The first time Steve settled a hand on Bucky’s shoulder without carefully telegraphing his intent, Bucky flung him through a wall. Steve wouldn’t let him apologize, and so he spent several hours curled up in an armchair in the common room, staring blankly down at his metal arm.

After that incident, Tony spent the better part of two weeks locked in his workshop and only properly emerged when he had a fully functional, non-weaponized arm, “complete with a miniature pop-up Cap shield and ready for installation”. (Steve had winced and tensed up at the phrasing, but Bucky just stared at Tony in shock for a moment before letting out a sound closer to a laugh than he’d managed since he got out of Headquarters. Tony grinned knowingly at Steve until he sighed resignedly and waved them down to R&D to ‘install’ the damn thing.)

\--

After seven months of rehabilitation and close-quarters living, things had drastically improved. They weren’t perfect, by any means – Bucky still had panic attacks and the occasional debilitating nightmare, but so did Steve. 

So did all of the Avengers.

Natasha turned out to be a huge help with the nightmares. She and Bucky would lapse into Russian in the wee hours of the morning when neither of them could sleep.

But Steve? Steve will always be Bucky’s favorite.

Steve was there when Bucky’s mind felt like it would boil over if he wasn’t careful. Steve was there through the nightmares, never once shying away despite Bucky's tendency to lash out physically in those confusing moments between sleep and wakefulness. Steve waited patiently just outside when Bucky needed to talk to Sam. Steve faced up to Fury more than once on Bucky’s behalf. Steve, big as he was now, still had the same damn heart of gold as he did in the 40’s, putting Bucky before anything and everything. Even himself, on occasion.

It took Bucky no time at all to remember why he loved him.

Bucky thought that maybe if he got better, he could be deserving of the attention Steve gave him. Maybe… No. He didn’t dare let himself hope for any more, despite the very pointed homosexual comments Tony liked to throw in Steve’s direction.

The first time he’d been around to hear one, Bucky had whipped his head around to see Steve’s reaction. Only… there wasn’t one.

Steve merely rolled his eyes and continued eating his oatmeal, completely unfazed.

Huh.

It went on for another month before Bucky brought it up - to Natasha, because he figured she’d be the one least likely to lie.

He stepped into the kitchen and glanced around to make sure they were alone before whispering, “Is Steve gay?”

Natasha turned to face him and leaned a hip against the counter, sipping her coffee with an eyebrow arched, clearly amused. “Nope.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell incrementally.

“But he’s not straight either,” she added, pushing off the island and striding off towards the elevators without a backward glance.

Well then.

\--

Clint could usually be found reading, curled up on a blanket he kept stashed in the ceiling of his room. He would - for the most part - ignore Bucky any time he joined him, which was exactly why Bucky normally chose to go up there. Companionship without the pressure of conversation.

Not today though. After twenty twitchy minutes of talking himself in and out of saying anything, Bucky finally blurted out, “Nat says Steve isn’t straight.”

Clint dropped the book down into his lap and cocked his head to the side. After a heart-stoppingly long moment, he nodded. “Yeah, he’s bi.”

Bucky crinkled his nose in confusion. “He's bi?”

“Bisexual. He's just attracted to people in general.”

“I know what the term means, Clint. I just... I didn't expect that. From Steve.”

“He’s actually really open about the whole thing. I’m sure he’d talk to you if you wanted.” And with that Clint picked up his book and went back to ignoring Bucky, who, even more jumpy than when he had arrived, left just a few minutes later.

\--

Bucky found himself lying on his bed an hour after his talk with Clint, staring at his own ceiling and reevaluating… everything, really.

His main reason for staying deep in the proverbial closet had always been Steve. Not that he thought Steve would hate him or reject him for being gay – he knew better than that.

No, Bucky was so intensely in love with that rebellious blonde punk that he never saw any reason to come out. After all, there was only one person he’d ever wanted. But if he couldn’t have him, there was no reason to say anything. The topic would simply never become an issue. Right? _Ha_.

There goes that reasoning. Fucking bisexual motherfucker.

Bucky rubbed sweaty palms on the thighs of his blue jeans (which he thought were absurdly tight but Darcy had insisted were ‘totally the in thing right now just trust me’) and got up from his bed, making his way towards the door.

He stopped just in front of it, one hand stretched out towards the doorknob and the other arm wrapped protectively around his middle.

“Alright, James Buchanan. Get your shit together. You’re doing this. Just rip off the Band-Aid.” One deep breath, in and out, and he leaned a few inches forward and yanked the door open decisively.

He stalked down the hall and knocked on Steve’s door.

No answer.

Down several floors he went, taking the stairs in a futile attempt at burning away his excess energy.

He arrived at Tony’s workshop and requested that JARVIS announce his presence to the occupants of the room.

“Of course, Sergeant.” Bucky scowled slightly. One of these days he was going to get Tony to reprogram his name.

The doors slid open and Bucky stepped inside. Steve was sat on a couch off to the side out of the way of Tony’s tinkering. He had a sketchbook in his lap and was concentrating fully on the page in front of him. Tony was up on a stool, wrench in hand, glaring furiously at Dum-E.

Bucky cleared his throat, but Tony just waved him off without looking up from the ever-malfunctioning robot. “I’m sure you’re here for Steve.”

Bucky ducked his head and wound his way through the messy floor of the shop, stopping in front of Steve who held up one finger and continued with his pencil until he found a good stopping point and looked up. “What’s up, Buck?”

His voice shook as he asked, “Can we talk?”

Steve’s eyes darkened in concern, and he nodded his assent. “Of course. Is here okay, or did you want to go back to your room?”

God bless the boy, he knew how to make Bucky more comfortable without making him feel like an ass for needing comfortable surroundings.

Bucky picked at a hangnail and jerked his head towards the door. “Please.”

Steve bounced out of the couch and gathered his belongings. “See you later, Tony!” he called. There was a grunt of acknowledgment from the engineer as JARVIS shut the doors behind them.

The elevator ride up to Bucky’s floor was tense. When they got to his room, Bucky immediately spun around and stared up into Steve’s face.

 _Like a Band-Aid_ , he reminded himself. “I’m in love with you.”

For a long moment the only sound in the room was their breathing, Bucky’s harsh and deep, Steve’s shallow and quick.

But soon Steve stepped forward as tentatively as a man of his size could, stopping toe to toe with Bucky. “Shit Buck, me too.” And then, as though that sentence needed clarifying (and maybe it did, given Bucky’s expression), he added, “With you. I’m in love. Too. Uh.” Steve rubbed a hand over his face in embarrassment. “Let me try that again in a proper sentence: I’m in love with you too, Buck.”

\--

“Sir?”

“Just a minute JARVIS.”

“Sir, I think you – “

“One fucking minute. I don’t remember programming you to be this irritating.”

“My apologies, Mr. Stark, but you told me to inform you when, quote, ‘those two finally get their shit together’, unquote.”

Tony dropped the wrench he was holding, narrowly missing his little toe. He let out a loud groan. “Damn it, why couldn’t they have waited another week? Now I owe Natasha $30.”

\--

The whole thing isn't simple by any means. They're still Avengers and Bucky is still recovering. Bruce still Hulks out more often than anyone would like (Tony's 'working on it'). Natasha has more PTSD than anyone but Clint suspects. Thor is still a god.

No.

It isn't simple. But it's good.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first post I'm making without my laptop. My computer was visited by the grim reaper in December and I'm too poor to get it fixed. So writing this was an exercise in patience that I really do not have. My apologies for any typos and autocorrect fuckups. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know. 
> 
> As always, comments are more than welcome. And don't forget to follow my Marvel blog on tumblr: aww-futz. :)


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